Sermon: A Father’s Love
Being a parent is one of the most complicated and complex things that you can do in life. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a father and I love my children. However, the emotional roller coaster of being a father and loving your children is complicated, not that simple, but at the same time it is. Let me explain what I mean.
Quick disclaimer: Okay, I know many or most of you have children of all ages, shapes and sizes. I do not purport to be an expert and every point of view and individual experience on the subject is valid. That’s why you will usually find the dads clumped together at a party or barbecue sharing or comparing stories.
I’ll go back to something my dad said to me when we finally found out Lauri was pregnant with Mason. “You just have to love them and everything will be okay.” He passed before we could discuss all of the other emotions that go into being a father: like fear, anxiety, pure joy, sadness, pride, anger, worry, doubt, vindication, happiness and yes above all else LOVE.
When you're an expecting dad you worry about the pregnancy and birth. You want mom and child to be healthy. The joy of meeting them for the first time. The smell of a new baby. Putting their hand in yours…. You melt. Then the exhaustion sets in and you go into zombie mode without a solid night’s sleep for what feels like forever. Before you know it Mason is walking and a new set of twins arrives. (GOD’s PLAN! ) Again joy. Then anxiety can we really afford all of these diapers, do we really have a choice. Holy Cow we’re out numbered. Then they are all walking and conspiring on how to avoid naptime or sneak outside. You would do anything for them, cleaning diapers and projectile vomit is nothing. You know you would give anything to keep them safe and Happy.
You Blink! No more naps or adoring faces asking for piggy back rides its sass an attitude. (a little sadness that those days are gone) I am sure my dad was up there laughing about so many things but especially the first time I found one of my tools out in the rain. Anger then laughter because I realized why dad was mad at me back when. The realization that they have been watching carefully and are more perceptive than you ever thought. “You know little pictures have big ears” when they blurt out something that you didn’t realize they heard or even understood. You worry, are you being the best example you can be? You have doubts, are you doing this right? Should you allow them that much freedom? Have you taught them about God in the right way? Do they understand? As a teacher you secretly hope they are behaving in school & class or at least they aren’t the class problem child. Sometimes you’re embarrassed. Ugh! Was that my kid who ate all of someone’s birthday cookies? Then pride when they walk over and randomly thank a veteran for their service or they show kindness to someone in need.
Blink again, teenagers! It goes so fast. “My great grandmother said the older you get the faster it goes” a realization that you quickly understand as a parent. Again, new fears, anxieties and joys. Should I let them go to wrestling camp in West Virginia? Is he really going to watch out for his younger brother. Should we let Logan be on a varsity team with high-school juniors and seniors. The joy you feel when you see your daughter perform on stage knowing how much courage she has that you never did. Okay, and even a little embarrassment when she teases you about tearing up with pride. Watching them grow and mature. Did you do a good enough job teaching them to be a good judge of character? Friendships, dating, breakups, interactions with adults, standing back a little and letting them navigate things on their own. OH, and a new fear unlocked, being a driving instructor. How did my dad have such a poker face? Not me, Mason knows when he has scared me mainly because I invoked the name of the lord. Again probably not my best parenting moment.
I share some of my experiences, but I ask that you take a minute and think of all your own experiences as a father, a parent or a child. The reality is that love encompasses all of these experiences. Your children can make the biggest mistakes and yet as a loving father you will do anything for your child. You let them face the consequences of their actions but will also defend them fiercely. You may not always get it right but you’re there with unconditional love. Sometimes it isn’t easy. You follow the lord's example by forgiving them, and supporting them. They, just like you, are not perfect and make mistakes, despite all your efforts you can’t be a perfect dad. You can & should try, but in the end I hear my dad’s words. It really is that simple, just love them and everything will be okay. The parable Jesus shares in Luke 15 is a story about a father’s love. I am sure we have all heard this one before, but consider all the emotions involved in this story. Jeff Farley used to relay to us that when he read scripture it played in his head like a video. I often see things the same way. When I play this story out, I see a ton of emotions. In the version I grew up with, the second son demanded his inheritance from father. Sorry, if it were me that would be extremely hurtful and I would more than likely be defensive and mad, but the father in the parable gave his son the money. Then the son left home. Just imagine how heartbroken. The son went off and wasted what the father must have worked so hard for and sinned while doing it. The father figured his son would never be seen again. After making his mistakes the man returned home humbled. Was the father angry? NO. He rejoiced and threw a party. He was filled with joy and love when his son came home. The older brother was jealous and bitter but again nothing but love for his two sons. The parable illustrates God's unconditional love and forgiveness for us. Just as many of us love our own children. Joe’s grandson a few weeks ago came up and read a bit of scripture that said “above all of these put on love.” In my mind he was clearly teaching his grandson what my dad was teaching me.
Knowing that, being a father is in large part about love, could you sacrifice your child? I teach a course on genocide and the Holocaust and we continuosly speak about choiceless choices. Often a mother alone in the ghetto with her children would have to choose between sending a preteen child to smuggle food from outside the ghetto knowing if they were caught the consequence was death or watch as the rest of the children starve to death. A choiceless choice. I always think about this as I don’t know if I could do it. How do you make that decision? There are many scripture readings about God’s love for US but this one stands out the most to me. In John 3: 16 God sacrificed his only begotten son so that his other children, WE, that have faith in him would have ever lasting life. Jesus died for our sins and God did this for us. Being a father has given me so much perspective on God’s love. Knowing how much I love my own children helps me realize how much he loves us and what he did for us. I hope we, including my own children, can all come to the same realization and know that no matter what happens if we have faith, our father who art in heaven will always be there for us.
Let us pray:
Lord as we go through the week please continue to keep an eye on us and let us be at ease knowing we are surrounded by your love.. In your name we pray.